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Frank Rizzo

Tis the Season..to be careful


Shiloh and I agreed that we wouldn’t get anything for each other for Christmas…and then she broke our pact by getting me a belt and Iron Man Underoos. Disclaimer, all my underwear have superheroes on them, they keep my junk safe. So now I get to go out and get her something…but when I ask what she’d like for Christmas, she either says “Nothing” or “Get away from me, you smell like a horse farted garlic” Not sure if the last one was an answer…anyway, I am going to get her something, I just don’t know what…Here is a quick list of things to stay away from giving your wife as gifts.

 

  1. Underwear…no matter how hard you try, you’ll end getting the kind that’s more of a gift for you.
  2. Jeans…You NEVER buy the right size, women’s pants sizing is some sort of complicated witchcraft that fluctuates with temperature, time of day and cycle of the moon.
  3. Anything that plugs in…stay away from anything that says “You should vacuum more”
  4. Decorative items…a gift certificate for decorative items is great,  if you pick them out yourself, tape the receipt with it. It will be wrong.
  5. Coupons…for a free back rub, night out, quite time…because you totally forgot to get her something real and this was an “OH $#!*” gift.