Shiloh and I agreed that we wouldn’t get anything for each other for Christmas…and then she broke our pact by getting me a belt and Iron Man Underoos. Disclaimer, all my underwear have superheroes on them, they keep my junk safe. So now I get to go out and get her something…but when I ask what she’d like for Christmas, she either says “Nothing” or “Get away from me, you smell like a horse farted garlic” Not sure if the last one was an answer…anyway, I am going to get her something, I just don’t know what…Here is a quick list of things to stay away from giving your wife as gifts.
- Underwear…no matter how hard you try, you’ll end getting the kind that’s more of a gift for you.
- Jeans…You NEVER buy the right size, women’s pants sizing is some sort of complicated witchcraft that fluctuates with temperature, time of day and cycle of the moon.
- Anything that plugs in…stay away from anything that says “You should vacuum more”
- Decorative items…a gift certificate for decorative items is great, if you pick them out yourself, tape the receipt with it. It will be wrong.
- Coupons…for a free back rub, night out, quite time…because you totally forgot to get her something real and this was an “OH $#!*” gift.